My Dad

I thought of something my dad said,

“I was smoking and drinking at your age.

Only by God’s grace I’m not dead.

You’re doing better than I was.”

If I had to do all over,

I’d do it like you are.

I’d be the best I could be.

I guess what I mean is, son,

You’re a better man than I am.

Well, my dad is no carpenter,

Nor does he have four years in post-grad school,

But he’s master of many trades,

Yet humbly, he is the Lord’s tool.

If I had to do all over,

I’d do it like you are.

I’d be the best I could be.

I guess what I mean is, son,

You’re a better man than I am.

Well, dad, you taught me what I know

About loving Jesus with all my heart,

And since you’ve taught me where to go,

I hope someday, I’ll be like you.

Since my whole life is before me,

I’ll do it like you are.

I’ll be the best I can be.

I guess what I mean is, dad,

You’re the best man I’ll ever know.

I can overlook your mistakes

Since you saw straight through all my childhood faults

Right to the man the Lord could make,

Purging me of my error’s claws.

-Austin Ward
11/16/06

Greek at Perkins

Trailing behind the conversation line,

I wake my intellect to hear words change,

But I don't sit at windows, but tables arranged

Only to notice the topic and company are fine.

We drop our shoulders to the world for now,

Feasting on the jokes of our upcoming fear

Without sighing and drowning our brow

In our arms to let out a stream of tears.

Sorrows can't infect a night where we laugh

And trials can't undo the memories made,

But they give strength to our weaker half

While we make light of our phobias that fade.

Times with the people who once were strangers,

Dining and snacking on breakfast and lunch,

Take away the peril from approaching dangers

So that they really don't pack such a punch.

Our stress falls down like a feather

While we laugh at awkward silence,

But nothing else on earth could be better

Than sitting down with such bright friends.

-Austin Ward

9/17/06

Perfection

I’ve given up on my own perfection,

I’ve given up on reflecting my own reflection.

I’m tired of pride and self-made rejection,

I’m tired of having this sin collection.

I forget the joy of resurrection,

I forget my purpose and direction.

I live with sin’s black infection,

I live without my heart’s inspection.

I must remember my protection

Does not depend on self-correction,

Nor depends on my connection,

But solely on my God’s affection.

I must remember my election

Came not from being man’s selection,

Nor came from my pride's detection,

But solely from my God’s affection.

I cannot stand on this sandy section,

But solely on my God’s affection.

I cannot stand in my perfection,

But solely in my God’s affection.

-Austin Ward

7/20/05

Dining Room Light

Dining room light with dimmest glow,

Tell me of the stories you know.

Remind me of our Christmas feast,

And of prayers of faith increased;

Tell me of guests who come and go,

Dining room light with dimmest glow.

Night after night you spend your light,

Guiding us through your room.

Dawn after dawn, you still go on,

Watching light o’erthrow gloom.

-Austin Ward

6/3/05

Golden Taco

There was a man, there was a man,

Who was looking for his life's happiness.

It was a long time ago.

He was in search of the golden taco.

He thought he'd find, somewhere he'd find

Some comfort for his heart and mind.

Our buddy's name is Rocko.

And he set out for the golden taco.

His journey showed him to a road

That might relieve him from his load.

So he started to walk-o,

Starting his quest for the golden taco.

He didn't know just where to go,

Or why he sought the treasure so,

And the village, they'd mock-o,

Yet he still sought out the golden taco.

Through wind and rain, he stood the pain

Of leaving all the his lifelong gain.

Over mountains high, valleys low,

His search went on for the golden taco.

Upon a whim, his trail brought him

To the house of the wise man Clem,

And on the door he had to knock-o,

He just had to find the golden taco.

The night grew cold, so Clem had told

Old Rocko where to find his gold.

So he sought that fateful dock-o

Where Clem said he'd find the golden taco.

He found water, and Clem's daughter,

He discovered that he sought her.

He and she began to talk-o.

He delayed finding the golden taco.

A strange feeling began reeling

As Rocko found himself kneeling

To ask her hand in wedlock-o!

Clem smiled and said, "There's the golden taco."

Well, she said yes, got in her dress,

What happened then, you might guess,

And then the years passed on the clock-o.

He found he still loved the golden taco.

May God make you rich like Rocko.

Don't forget who gave the golden taco.

-Austin Ward

8/1/05

Tested

Tested, o God, tested;

That is the state of my sitting now.

Tested to worship with those whose eyes

Cannot see the time is short beneath these skies.

In Unity, o God, we must sing;

As one, our hearts we must bring.

Tested, o God, tested;

That is the state of my praising now.

Tested to worship with those whose minds

Cannot know the price they must pay till Christ finds

Our Unity, o God, has turned vain;

As one, our hearts all seem strained.

Tested, o God, tested;

That is the state of our worship now.

Tested to praise You with self-made worth.

Cannot my mind remove itself from this earth?

In Unity, o God, let me join

As one, though from diff'ring loins,

With those who praise in true

The true God, eternally You,

As now we break our tradition

To come to You in true contrition,

Before a Savior who has bought

And won after He and death fought

For our hopeless, unredemptive state.

Our God, You are truly great.

Tested, o God, tested;

That is the state of Unity now.

-Austin Ward

10/8/06

Spiritual Garb

I can wear that spiritual garb,

But can I bear that cross?

Faking is not that hard,

Cause nobody acts lost.

Can I be real?
Am I so diluted

That in the smiles I deal

My heart goes unincluded?

Do I shame Christ?

Do the words that I speak

Look mismatched in my life?

Are my claims really that weak?

The spiritual strength I have craved

Seems like a mirage on the cross

'Cause no one acts saved

And nobody acts lost.

Am I wrong?

Then prove me wrong.

Please prove me wrong.

Prove me wrong,

'Cause who else will?

-Austin Ward

8/3/06

Ponderment on Salvation

I don’t see how you see

So great a love in me,

To die knowing full well my faithless ways.

Can a harlot receive

Gifts greater than belief?

I’ve so little to return but my praise.

More evil men than I

Do not deserve to die

In all ways alone, death the bloody price,

Or maybe that is why

My Jesus had to die:

Man’s lethal need for such a sacrifice.

-Austin Ward

5/22/05

Miracle of Praise

How can the heart of a filthy wretch

Be the throne of a perfect King?

How can this house of whores

Become the house of the Lord?

How can a broken man

Praise his Maker’s hand?

How can unclean lips meet

A perfect Savior’s perfect feet?

How can death-hindered man raise

Sin-laden arms in deepest of praise?

How can the Mighty Almighty,

That Warrior fighting,

Surrender to condescend

To man, to hinder his definite end?

Our Maker, our Master, our King,

Died to give us everything.

I don’t know these things, my Lord,

But I will worship, I will adore.

My heart of stone is on the floor.

Let me worship you a little more,

Just a little while more.

-Austin Ward
9/18/05

Haste

Slow down, my child.

You make too much haste.

Your heart’s gone wild,

There’s no time to waste.

Let me just be with you.

Leave that sacrifice alone.

There’s nothing left to do.

Your love for me is shown

In silence with me.

Don’t focus on the gift,

But on Who gave it to you.

Let your wand’ring eyes shift

To He who loves you true

From death’s lonely tree.

-Austin Ward

5/13/05

Victory Over the Serpent

Serpent, I see thee now coiled,

Laying there for who thou art.

Fangs for me, thy plan spoiled,

For thou hast no power in my heart.

Thy persistence shall avail to naught,

For by Christ’s blood I am bought.

Snake of Eve’s first evil deed,

Thy venom no more infect

Or death in my veins breed,

For Jesus my heart doth now reflect.

Shame’s mask cannot cover transgressions,

So I choose Christ’s impressions.

Beneath His heel lay thy head;

I follow to crush thee, too.

God’s steps quell thy pow’r dead,

While daily I seek that strength anew.

I know thou wilt lay there, pow’rless snake,

Until I tomorrow wake,

Yet when my fading sun calls my day done,

I shall see thy life’s end come without contend,

While I to my Lord bow and return my vict’ries’ crowns.

-Austin Ward

11/21/06

The Sin of No Passion

For one man, it is a sin to preach,

For another, a sin not to make a speech.

For still another, a sin to sell stock,

For another, a sin to watch o’er a flock.

Masculinity in each man has a desire,

So do not burn it out, but feed that passion fire.

Every man has a duty to which he’s bound:

To make sure his passion in life is found.

He must ask himself what makes him alive.

He must then pursue it, and not deprive.

A deprived man will soon become depraved,

Like a lion caged, no longer able to do or crave.

His vigor gone, his heart is lost, a sad tale to tell.

So do not deny yourself what quickens your very soul,

Pursue your passion, live it out, find Christ, and be whole.

-Austin Ward

February 2, 2005

The Serpent

Thou snake, my serpent, beguiling me by my eyes,

Thou too shalt see thy death when looking to the skies.

That radiant bliss, all glorious and divine,

Thou shall not know, seller of the wine.

Drunken, I stumble to thee, asking for blunder.

Why do I do such foolish things, I wonder?

My hand reaches for that crimson cup,

But only venom do I feel, my blood corrupt.

The crafty caller of my misplaced desires

Has deceived me with soft-singing choirs,

Angelically playing those voices of light,

And I let the sirens sound and the serpent bite.

Why must thou plague me so,

Oh serpent of my woe?

Can tenderness be found in thee?

I dare not perceive it be.

Thy sole purpose is to drown my heart

By tainted fruits of the vines of earth,

Let nature see my Father’s worth

Who sent His Son to bruise the head

Of the creature who still would have me dead.

Serpent, thy weedish flower is withered,

So return to the place where thou once slithered.

Thy wine has no effect but disgust,

And thy venom only turns into dust.

I do not claim to understand His grace,

I simply know it is mine to fastly embrace.

So take thyself, bold serpent, back to the abyss,

For thou, such a traitorous one, I shall not miss.

-Austin Ward

11/11/06

The Patient

Wake up from your coma.

You need a blood transfusion.

Mine’s the only one that will work.

Do you want it?

I gave it.

Just ask my father, your doctor.

Your blood has been poisoned,

But mine will renew it,

Restoring what you never had,

What you feel you’ve lost.

If you reject my blood,

You lose your life.

Please, you mean so much to me,

And just as much to my dad.

Take it before it’s too late.

I don’t care how tough it was to give,

I chose to give it,

I chose just for you.

Your receiving it won’t be as bad

As my giving it. I promise.

Come on. Don’t let the poison affect you.

The only way to feel better is to take my blood.

Please, you don’t have much longer.

Take my blood, my love.

-Austin Ward

5/24/05

Foolish One

I long to be a foolish one,

To see the mighty things of heaven done.

Can the Lord use a smart old guy like me?

I guess I’ll just have to wait and see.

Some people’s minds lack the strength;

Some people’s arms lack the length,

But the Lord shows through them His power,

Which tends to make smart men sour,

But the Lord gives what they once lacked

And for the world, he makes an impact.

I long to be a foolish one,

To see the mighty realm of heaven come.

Can the Lord use a smart old guy like me?

I guess I’ll just have to wait and see.

Some people have no degree,

Some people aren’t just like me,

My major in accomplishments,

But that’s not my confidence.

-Austin Ward

5/2/06

Day Takes Over

Vanishing, the stars rush away.

I watch their candor show their fear,

Terrified of light-time’s day,

So until it dies, they disappear.

Stars rush away, away they depart,

As do my thoughts while I dream at heart.

Arising, the fog’s gloom ascends.

I watch it find joy in the sky,

Not upset by night-time’s winds.

So until darkness again comes nigh,

Fog’s gloom ascends, ascends to the heights,

As I wait as well for sleeping nights.

Fading out, silence takes its bow.

I watch it hand the stage to morn,

Graciously waiting sleep’s brow,

So until life lays the day it’s borne.

The silence bows, bowing from night’s pride,

As day o’ertakes me all sleepy-eyed.

-Austin Ward

11/30/06

Bloodshed and Sacrifice

The shedding of blood,

No remission for sins.

What gift-giving can sting more

With the sharp loss but no gain?

The death on the cross was not all that was mine,

But the cattle’s slaughter and the dove’s blood spill:

They belong to me, too.

The death of which I speak is not one, but two.

The first is the weight of all sin

Bringing the Father to crush me,

And what’s more, that it would please Him to do it.

The second is the whole history of the altar,

Its sacrifices and burnt offerings, innocent and cursed

By the knife of my sin’s lethal need for a perfect sacrifice

Through a God who is patient to love me so

While still my very life has earned His own full wrath.

God shedding His blood,

My remission for sins.

What gift-giving can sting more

With Messiah’s death but my life?

The death on the cross was not all that was mine,

But the Lamb’s slaughter and the wrath cup’s spill:

They belong to me, too.

The death of which I speak is Christ’s, paid and pardoned by my Judge.

I shed my unholy shell

Because I am bought.

Lambs and cattle no longer inhabit my home’s realm,

But now the sacrifices which please you:

A contrite heart and a broken spirit You will not despise.

View my contrition now, oh God, as I ruthlessly die,

Happily constrained to be Your own.

Lord, help me die, taking the death You have offered instead of my own.

-Austin Ward

1/29/07

Acknowledgement

Acknowledgement

You've paid my debt,

God of eternal worth,

And my cross you've wet

With your blood here on earth

So that I, a sinner yet,

Could see Thy praises' mirth.

You know me well,

From my inside and out,

And you've suffered hell

Answ'ring my teary shout,

So that Thou, the Life-filled Well,

Could quench my dead heart's drought.

-Austin Ward

10/18/06

Please Break My Heart

Please Break My Heart

Why can’t you break my heart?

I barely know you, sir, how rude I would be!

Please, more rude would be to lead me on.

Why can’t you break my heart?

It would be shameful to hurt my new friend!

Pal, more shameful would be to lead me on.

Why can’t you break my heart?

I can’t hurt the man I love, tho both are sin!

Love, more sinful would be to lead me on.

Why can’t you break my heart?

Giving back your ring would hurt too deep!

Dear, more deep would be to lead me on.

Why can’t you break my heart?

Marriage vows cannot be broken after now!

Wife, more broken would be to lead me on.

Now mismatched, but married nonetheless,

A most rough terrain we must together progress.

Perhaps smoother the path is beyond,

But always the pain because you lead me on.

-Austin Ward

2/4/07